Contemplating Life’s Choices

Ok, let’s keep digging into our year end reflection. If you haven’t read my first post about my year end reflection process, check it out here for the deets on this process. Once you’ve read that come back and let’s dig into the next part of my questions.

What do I want to leave behind in 2022?
This is a list of things I want to say no to in the future, that I want to stop chasing, stop doing, or stop believing, and things I want to let go of. It may be a long list at first and that’s ok. I found that over time I get better at making the changes I want to see and this list gets shorter and more manageable.

What shaped the things I want to leave behind?
The things I want to leave behind are rarely things with no rhyme or reason or that are completely out of my control. I take the time to look at my list of things I want to leave behind and think about what actions, behaviors, mindsets, or choices have led me to this place. I also reflect on the inputs and influences I’ve allowed to be in my life. This could be things like too much social media or listening to people who don’t have my best interests at heart.

What went well in 2022?
This is a list of anything that went well for me. It could be goals achieved, accomplishments, fun times, joyful moments, or things I’d consider a win. Your list should include things big and small. My list this year had things as small as making bunny pancakes with the kids to buying one of our dream cars. Nothing is too big or too small for this list and even if the year was rough find at least one thing.

One thing that works well for me is I scroll through the pictures I took through the year. It reminds me of activities we’ve done, fun moments, and even some of the more mundane things like camping out in the basement when our AC went out during the summer. It was a stressful moment but we found join in the moment because the kids thought it’s as a camp out and had a lot of fun through the chaos.

What did I want to do that didn’t get done in 2022?
If you haven’t set goals in the past don’t worry about this step. You can always save it for later. I write down all the goals I set for myself and I celebrate the things I accomplished and cross off anything that is ok to leave behind in the current year. I used to think if I didn’t achieve a goal I needed to move it to the next year and double down on making it happen. I’d then get upset that I had a goal outstanding for years that was never getting any progress on and wonder if it was me that was broken or incapable.

I eventually realized that some goals are ok to let go of. Maybe you set a goal to learn something that no longer interests you. Perhaps you set a goal and then realized it was no longer in alignment with what matters most to you. This is ok and it’s part of your journey of self discovery. The more I learn about myself the more I find that sometimes goals that seemed worthy and important really just weren’t.

Now, don’t get me wrong. This isn’t an easy out to be able to just start fresh and feel like you’ve done good when you know you didn’t truly put in the effort. This is about values alignment and making sure you’re focusing on the right priorities. If you still want to work towards a goal but you didn’t pay it the attention it needed in the current year move it to the new year and set time to make a plan to achieve that goal. That’s ok too!

Ok, this is the part that’s the reflection on the current year. Come back for the next piece that will set you up for goal setting for the next year. It’s more reflection work so find a quiet place, grab a journal or open your blog, and work through these questions and get ready to come back for the next piece of the puzzle. It’s a lot but this process is what works for me and I have grown and learned a lot from it.