Contemplating Life’s Choices

It doesn’t have to be this way or this much pressure…

Every year around this time my social media feeds get flooded with posts about new year, new me. Resolutions, goals, word of the year, vision boards, and everything else declaring that THIS year is going to be the one.

But what if you’re not feeling it? You’re unsure what’s next for you or perhaps there’s confusion on what the “right” next step is. Maybe you’re just exhausted from surviving the last year that the thought of having a plan for the new year is more than you can comprehend.

If that’s the case, you’re not alone.

The Gregorian calendar year is just one way of keeping track of time. In fact, you may have heard about Asian countries celebrating Lunar New Year. Alternatively, you could consider the start of the new year astrologically with Aries season around the spring equinox.

Honestly, the last few years I’ve felt ill prepared to declare my goals come January 1. In the past that worked great for me. When my goals were often highly tactical and focused on things like getting a new car before the old one dies or losing 10 pounds and getting in shape it was easy to set some resolutions and be on my way.

As I’ve aged, I’ve found some of my goals are more impact focused or more of a north star type of direction than a tangible and specific thing. They often take longer to fully form in my mind and often even longer to execute. I’ve also found that in the depth of winter (December/January) I want to cozy up and rest and reflect. I generally don’t feel prepared to set goals until I’ve had time to sit with the lessons learned from the past year.

So, if you’re, like me, and haven’t declared your grand plans for the year, consider finding a start date that works for you in your current season of life. This means, if you’re already done and declared your intentions for the year, great! Get moving and pursue those goals. If you aren’t ready consider what would feel good to give you the space you need? For me, it’s usually around my birthday in early February where I’ve had enough time to sit with my thoughts and at least have a sense of direction for the year.

Goal setting has no requirement to be done on January 1. You can choose when, where, and how you set goals or resolutions for yourself. Additionally, they never have to be year long endeavors. Perhaps shorter term goals are a better fit for you, or maybe one multi-year goal feels fitting. There is no wrong way to chart your course through life.

Also, I have let go of the idea of a “new year, new me”. The new year is just me on a different day. I’m a work in progress and an evolution of my former self. Baring something truly life changing, most days are just another day. I encourage you to let go of any sense of needing to overhaul your whole self and identity because we completed another calendar year.

Finally, I’d encourage you to take the time to sit with the season of life you are in. Sometimes goal setting is easy when the goals are clear and you know what you want. Other times you may be deep in a season of care giving, new starts, or transformative change where the idea of setting a goal might be exhausting or your idea of a goal is to take a shower more than once a week. (Parents of new babies, you know what I’m saying…)

I believe that when we find ways to honor the seasons we’re in and make plans on the timelines that work for us we can see our goals come to life. Take the time to give yourself some space and grace if you didn’t hit January 1 ready for all that’s coming next for you. If you already have your goals or a word for your year, I’d love to hear them.