Contemplating Life’s Choices

So, I normally prep this post over the weekend to make sure I get them out every Wednesday morning in the timezone I am in on the off chance anyone is following along and actually working through the different questions. Last week I ended up getting sick over the couple days before the weekend so I spent most of the weekend taking it easy and recovering. I’m totally fine now but it’s put a few things behind schedule so when I went to think about what I’d post as the question for the week this question immediately came to mind.

In the US, and many other places, success tends to be portrayed as having money, cars, a house, expensive clothes/accessories, famous friends, and a high level title at a major company. It also can entail things like being skinny, participating in the right hobbies, having flawless skin, and looking a certain way. Or now a days it can look like being on a 20 under 20 list, having sold a tech startup for billions of dollars by 25, and having built a dozen more successful companies by 35.

Y’all just looking at that list of what “success” looks like makes me tired.

The longer I exist on this planet the more I realize success for me is raising children who are kind, compassionate, empathetic, smart, problem solvers, creative, joyful, authentic, and loving. It’s providing for them the things they need and creating positive memories together along the way. It’s having friends who I know would bring me breakfast in the ER if I was taking care of a sick child or who would travel across town just to share a coffee and a quick chat to catch up. It’s the ability to spend time learning the things that I find interesting.

Now here’s the deal. I’ve got to a place where I have a number of things sorted out where my priorities have shifted. That’s not saying if circumstances change or if I were thinking about this question even 5-10 years ago my answer wouldn’t be completely different. There is no right or wrong answer. The only thing I don’t think is a good answer is to blindly buy into what society or others tell you success looks like because an influencer told you so or because someone else did it so you have to as well.

Think about this question for yourself and decide on your own if it really is the title or the material things. If it is, set some goals and make it happen. But if it’s not, don’t let the world talk you out of shining your light and pursuing the things that make you happy. Even if you can only pursue those things as hobbies or a side hustle I believe it’s worth it to never stop investing in yourself and the things that bring you joy. Also, don’t feel you are a failure if you haven’t made the 20 under 20 list or been recognized in your community as some child genius. So many people don’t fully come into their own most authentic self until far later in life and you can waste so much time thinking you could have, should have, or would have or if only your way to the end but why. We all have something more meaningful to do than beating ourselves up for not “having it all” by the time we’re 25. Some of us do, and some of us don’t and both are ok.

So what does success look like for you?