Contemplating Life’s Choices

I posted a while back about some life lessons I’ve realized since we brought home our puppy. As she gets bigger I feel I continue to have moments where she reminds me that, just like raising children, there is a lot to be learned from those around us and those who are younger than us.

It’s really easy, just like with kids, to get burred in your own activities, worries, and responsibilities. Combine that with social media, TV/movies, and everything else happening globally it can be really easy to just default to our fight or flight responses. Yelling at the dog because she’s not perfectly behaved, ignoring the kids because they want one more thing, zoning out while things are going on around us missing out on opportunities to truly connect and enrich each others lives.

Yeah, I’m not perfect. I know what a sad face looks like when your kid knows you’re not really paying attention to them. Same thing with your dog when you yell at them and throw them outside and they wonder why you’re so upset because to them it was just play. Now, don’t go nuts because we are not over here beating the dog or mistreating the kiddos. The kids and this puppy are a big piece of our world and sometimes as a parent trying to cope with all that’s going on we don’t give them the full attention we could.

So, being present. I’ve learned that it’s ok to ask my kids to give me time to finish what I’m working on so that I can give them my full attention when we’re talking or playing together. I don’t believe parents need to give up all of their hobbies and personality to always be “on” for their kids but I do believe we can create respectful relationships between us that allow them to see what establishing healthy boundaries looks like too. I get that this doesn’t work across all ages and some kids mature faster than others so take what I have to say with a grain of salt and figure out what works for you and your family.

With the puppy, I’ve learned that I’m much more likely to get bit or plowed over if I’m not paying full attention to what she’s doing. Of course to her she just wants to play and nipping is part of that. I remind myself that she might think I’m just another puppy but my skin isn’t as tough as her fur so me being focused on her in the moment helps me keep my skin intact and we get to have a little fun together. Seriously though, do dogs just think we’re bigger less furry animals too? 😂

I’ve learned in the past weeks that sometimes ignoring her actually works better than yelling at her because then I become less fun and interesting. When she calms down a bit I’m able to continue to pet her or play with her and sometimes I acknowledge she just needs to burn some energy and we toss a ball or go outside. I think it will be easier to do more with her as the weather warms up but overall I’m learning that being truly present helps us both enjoy our time together and walk away without tiny bite marks or holes in my clothes.

Anyway, I’d recommend finding one way you can be more present for those around you at some point this week. It could mean turning off social media, putting your phone aside, or scheduling time to do something fun with your kids or friends. It takes time to build this kind of discipline because the world would have you believe if you’re not scrolling social media constantly you’ll miss out or be worse off. It’s not true. Being there and present for the people who care about you the most is definitely worth it and something I am going to keep working on.