Contemplating Life’s Choices

I’ve done yoga off and on since I was a teen. I remember taking a community yoga class with my mom and a couple of her friends once and watching Rodney Yee classes on VHS before you could find yoga classes on TV or YouTube.

Back then yoga for me was about the physical aspects of the practice. Gaining flexibility and strength were the main reasons I gave yoga a try. I did enjoy the peaceful aspects of it like savasana (corpse pose) but who didn’t. You got to lie down, close your eyes, and enjoy some peaceful music for a while.

I didn’t practice yoga regularly even through my early adult life. I’d hit up a class now and again if a friend asked me to go or I’d do a Rodney Yee practice on a DVD at home. Yoga mostly remained a way to get some exercise but I always enjoyed it when I would practice.

Fast forward to the months after I had my first baby. He had a traumatic birth and we weren’t sure how he would do or what kinds of medical issues we would face long term. I didn’t know it then but looking back I am sure I had PPD, anxiety, and probably PTSD.

Miraculously a friend of mine I previously worked with ended up in a yoga teacher training program and needed people to practice with to finish her certification. Of course I was happy to help her out. It gave me a reason to get out of the house for a bit and take some time for myself. As a new mother I definitely needed that more than I realized.

From our first session together it was like the clouds parting after a bad storm and the sun coming out.

As cliche as that sounds that was what yoga was for my mental and physical health. I suddenly realized I could feel good, that my body was so capable, and that I had been living in a fog for the longest time. Every session we did together I’d feel a little better and more hopeful. I enjoyed meeting some of her other friends who would show up and I invited my friends to come with me. Looking back I realized those classes and the willingness of my friend to invite me to practice with her changed my life.

Now as we are in a time where the unprecedented seems to happen on a regular basis it can feel so hopeless. I’ve realized as I’ve contemplated my goals and hopes for this year that one of the things I need to make a regular part of my life is my yoga practice.

I want to go back to studying yoga in hopes that I can eventually share this practice with others. Knowing how much it made a difference in my life, and that the world is deeply in need of healing, this feels like a way I can contribute to creating spaces that I want to see for myself.

So, if you’re new to yoga or want to move beyond asana (the physical poses – what social media would have you think is all yoga has to offer) stick around. I plan to share insights, things I’m learning and practicing, and maybe if there’s enough interest I’ll get some online classes together or record some videos.

I hope that if you don’t have something like yoga in your life you access the things that make a meaningful difference for you. If you didn’t read my 52 WOC – Week 1 post it will actually talk about contemplating the tools and techniques you use to stay grounded when bad things happen and life feels uncertain. I do hope you’ll join me in this exploration of yoga.