Contemplating Life’s Choices

Ok so we’re not going to space (IYKYK) but we are going to finish our reflection and goal setting process for the year. Like my other posts, if you haven’t gone through parts one, two, or three be sure to do that first and then join us here for the last installment of this work.

What do I want to focus on in 2023?
Ok this is where we start getting specific so you can set some goals. Look through all the things you’ve written down and reflected on and see if you can pull out some ideas of things you want to prioritize your focus on in 2023.

I like to try and narrow down to a handful of ideas that I could reasonably focus on. They don’t have to be written as SMART goals or anything like that yet, unless you’re ready to do so. Just get some ideas down.

What do I hope 2023 will look and feel like?
This exercise is incredible because you get to look back at what you hoped and see what became true for you. Try to write in as much detail as you can and write both what you think things will look like and what things will feel like for you. If you can get yourself feeling hyped or moved to tears that’s the level of emotional connection you’re looking for. There is no right or wrong way to write this and no one will see it but you, unless you choose to share it, so write it all down until you feel you’ve captured your hopes.

What do I hope my life will look like in 3 years?
So think about just three years in the future. This exercise is about thinking beyond the near future but not so far out it becomes hard to imagine. Three years in the future is something that’s easier to think about what could be vs five and ten years there is so much that is out of your control and will likely change that I just don’t find value in reflecting that far out.

So, think about your hopes for a couple years in the future. Does your future include a promotion at your job? A new career? Health and wellness? Will you be surrounded by friends and family or will you find independence and a world of travel. Again, no right or wrong answers just something that will be fun for you to look back on in a couple of years.

To boldly go where I haven’t gone before!

Ok that’s it. At this point I look at all of the questions I’ve answered and usually at this point I can see some themes of what I want to focus on. I like to have a word of the year that I can anchor on and guide me but you may just want to set a couple of goals at this point. You can use a goal setting framework like SMART goals or dig into James Clear’s system of Atomic Habits. Find what works for you and if what you pick at first isn’t helpful try something new.

When I first started setting goals I would set them and then forget them until the end of the year when I’d realize I hadn’t achieved what I wanted to. The things that have helped me realize more goals than I don’t include:

1. Keep your goals visible – yeah I legit have a goal poster that is on the wall between my bathroom and bedroom. I look at and review my goals multiple times a day so I don’t forget what I decided would matter most for me.
2. Review your progress throughout the year – If you only review at year end you miss opportunities to reprioritize, reassess, and change things along the way. It’s ok to dump a goal mid-year if you realize there’s something more important you need to focus on or if your life circumstances have changed and you need to pivot. It’s far better to see you need to change course than reach year end and feel you’ve failed. At minimum I recommend a mid-year check in, and yeah I have a whole series of questions I go through then too, but what has helped me most is the years I do a monthly check in to see if I’m on track.
3. Don’t give up – Your first year may be filled with disappointments, missed goals, or unmet expectations but that’s not unusual. It takes time and effort to really figure out what matters to you, how much you can reasonably expect to achieve in a given year, and what you need to make your dreams a reality. To me this is a non-negotiable system that I do year in and year out and it works but even I still have years where I don’t achieve much and I realize that’s ok. It’s worth it for the years where I achieve a ton or just spend the time getting to know more about myself.

Ok, that’s the process. I like to make it fun by decorating the pages of my journal with washi tape and using an assortment of colorful pens. If that’s speaks to you do it (legit having a reason to buy pretty things to use in this process is probably a decent motivator for me) but if you’re more of the practical thinker you might enjoy a simple notebook with a blue pen or opening up the notes app on your device and jotting your notes there. The idea is do what feels sustainable for you but make sure you’re writing it down. So much of the value I get is also in looking back at where I was and having real evidence of how far I’ve come.

I hope this process helps. If there are other questions you like to reflect on let me know as I do change this process as I find new things to reflect on or when I realize something isn’t working for me. Always happy to answer questions too so don’t hesitate to leave me your comments below.